After the Fire
by Porsheee
Summary: Based off of Sorcaron's fanart "After the Fire," this story is a "what if in Winter Kai got injured and became a cyborg."


The smoke curled and twisted against the night sky. A shattered window glittered nearby, shimmering in the light of Luna.

How he hated that light. He couldn't move away from it, either. His left leg, pinned under a column, refused to move. The pain…

A swish of red fabric caught his eyes, swirling through the dust and dodging the glowing city-like embers. _His _city. How he hoped his city was okay… He couldn't tell, for laying here in the darkness he couldn't see past the palace's ghostly walls—all that was left of it after Levana boomed it. Such an explosion it was, too. So many screams. So much sound and silence, and all that was left was a ringing. He couldn't hear a thing, but screams ripped through his ears anyways—mirages of what had just happened.

Never had he been so glad that Cinder wasn't there.

Never had he so wanted Levana to be dead and gone, and away on Luna.

Never had he felt so helpless.

The red approached, and before he could see the exact shade, he knew what it was. It was Levana's cape, the one she'd been wearing the day before. Before she'd 'left' and all of this happened.

He was surprised she wasn't too vain to step through the ashes and ruins, with her cape still around her. It wasn't close enough for him to see, but the ash was probably clinging to the edges. The ash would be coating it entirely by the end of this long night, he was sure.

This brought him little satisfaction, but it was something. One small victory in the face of a loss so large.

"I've been looking for you, my _husband_." Soft and smooth, her voice slithered in through the void in his mind and wrapped around his soul. It was as if she was trying to coax it out, as a predator would to their prey.

Despite the pain in his legs, dust in his lungs, and ringing in his ears, he smiled. If he was going to die here, he might as well annoy Levana. As an emperor, he didn't want to die as a coward.

His title had never meant so much to him until now.

Her dress fluttered against his leg, the rich purple contrasting with the greys and blacks of the desolate palace. Only a few hours ago, it had been intact. A few hours ago, it was beautiful.

Now, one could only find beauty in its horror, and even then it would be difficult. So many tears, so much blood… No, this was no longer a place of dreams. Not a place awed and wondered about. Now it was only dead, and the absence of greatness.

And he would die here.

"Why are you not dead?" Her voice was the cue of the dove in the morning, and yet Kai had never heard a voice so cruel. It was a wonder he heard her at all over the ringing. The ringing…

"Because you failed." The words tasted bitter on his tongue. "How does it feel to fail?"

"Nonsense!" Her boot came out from beneath her dress and kicked ash by his face. The ash billowed out, making him cough. His chest spasmed, having taken so much this night. If only that was the worst of it; he was sure his leg would never be able to move again.

"I am glad you are not dead, my emperor. Killing you myself will be an honor."

He wanted to say something back, hopefully something clever, but he had no words left. What a shame.

She leaned down, her face hovering inches above his own. His daring smile returned. If he had no words, it was all he had left.

"Don't smile at me, boy. Don't smile at all."

Pain.

Pain in his arm.

Red behind his eyes.

Screams. His own.

Levana turned away, and a voice he recognised filled his heart both with hope and with pain.

"Stop! _Don't you dare even touch him!_" Cinder's voice was so strong, so confident, so angry.

But his arm still hurt, and darkness dappled the edges of his vision, almost overwhelming him.

He fought it, but not for long.

Soon, all he could see was black.

There were faces around him, masked, and they were doing something to his arm. His heart beat—once, twice—but then the pain came back, as if someone had dug a billion knifes into his skin. There was so much pain he couldn't tell it's source, but soon it didn't matter.

He was no longer conscious.

White. All white… light. Whispered voices. Beeping sounds. White.

Black.

His head shot up, and he gasped, fully awake for the first time in… who knew. Shuttering, he closed his eyes.

_Heart rate elevating. Increased levels of adrenaline. _

He blinked, but the words didn't go away. More words replaced them, bright red. A warning.

But why…?

More words scrolled across the top of his vision.

_21 Feb 127 T.E._

The 21st? He'd been out for... what, four days? Could that be true?

And where were the words coming from? They were… strange. When he moved his head, they moved too. And they seemed to be connected to him, telling him the things about him and the things he wanted to know.

_Warning. Warning. Shutdown procedure in 10... 9... _

Shutting down never seemed good, whatever it was.

He sat back against his pillow, closing his eyes. The words followed him.

_Heart rate slowing. Breathing stabilized._

It was as if someone had narrated his life in neat, red marker. It made him wonder if anyone was watching him, and he shivered. Then he realized how silly that was. He was the emperor, of _course _he was being watched. He was always being watched.

A person—doctor?—in white clothing and small plastic name tag rushed in, his long lab coat billowing out from behind him.

"I see you are up, Your Majesty." He bowed hastily.

"Yeah, I think so…"

"Do you feel any pain?"

The doctor had a small port screen in his hands, fingers hovering over it as if waiting to write something down.

Now, that was strange. He didn't feel any pain, but all of his memories of the last four days involved pain.

A lot of it.

He shook his head.

The doctor's fingers fell, and he straightened, adjusting the lab coat around his shoulders.

"Is there anything you would like, Your Majesty?"

"Could you bring me some food? And… could I comm someone?"

"Of course, Your Majesty. You are able to receive messages at this time, and a droid will be bringing you food."

His stomach rumbled and he winced; he hadn't even realized how truly hungry he was until he'd said the word 'food' aloud.

The doctor straightened himself for a second and small red lines mapped his face. Five seconds later, more text scrolled across his vision.

_IRA RENICK, ROYAL DOCTOR_

_ID #0048500037_

_BORN 5 JULY 87 T.E._

"What's happening to me?" he asked, trying to sound calm. "There's… text in my vision. Behind my eyes. I… something like that." He shook his head, as if trying to get rid of it, but it stayed.

_2 MEDIA HITS_

"Your retina scanner."

"What?"

Dr. Renick bowed again, looking embarrassed and somewhat apologetic.

"Your left eye was destroyed when you arrived at the hospital. You needed a new eye, and the retina scanner replacing it is the highest in prosthetic eye technology."

"Retina scanner…" He tried to remember back to the last time he'd heard the word.

Cinder. Cinder… net screen.

"I have a net screen _in my eye?" _

Dr. Renick shifted around on his feet.

"Yes. I believe you approved of it?"

"I… did?"

He walked up to the bed and showed him a page on his port screen.

Kai's signature looked back up at him, deformed and off as if he had written it with his eyes closed.

Maybe he'd signed it without knowing, or without remembering. That didn't sound too unlikely.

He sighed and fell against the pillow, raising his right arm up to his forehead to rub it.

Something cool and distinctively metal hit his face instead, and he recoiled.

_Elevated heart rate…_

_Stars, does that thing ever shut up? _he thought. _It's like having something hovering over me whispering into my ear every three seconds. _

"Your Majesty?"

"No-nothing." He instantly hated himself for stuttering, but it wasn't his fault. This was all just so… weird. Off. It'd take some time to get used to this.

And then the door opened again, someone breathless and tall and loud and messy and—

"You're awake!"

Breezing past the doctor, Cinder ran up to his bed and sat down on the stool next to it, eyes shining.

"Emperor Kai? Were you expecting a visitor?"

Kai couldn't breath for a second. He just melted a little more into the sheets. If only she knew how much he had worried about her in the time he was conscious…

Cinder looked behind her shoulder, an expression of helplessness on her face.

"Oh, um… I swear I know him. I…" She looked over at Kai for support, and he turned his head away to keep from staring.

"She's supposed to be here. I, um… commed her a few minutes ago." He winced when he realized how obviously he was lying, but he doubted the doctor would argue against an emperor.

"Of course, Your Majesty." As if taking the cue to leave, he added in, "if there's nothing else you'd like, may I be dismissed?"

"Of course." Kai tried not to shout at him to leave. How un-emperor-y that'd be.

Cinder was here. Breathing. Beautiful. Alive. If he reached out his hand, he'd be able to touch her face.

The door closed softly.

Cinder reached up and squeezed his left hand and, to his relief, found it to still be human. It was just his right arm that wasn't, it seemed.

"I was so worried…" Something about Cinder's voice told him she'd be crying if she could.

"If I hadn't been unconscious for the past four days, I would be worried too."

Cinder squeezed his hand again. It seemed she didn't know what to say to him. Not that he blamed her.

"What... what happened while I was out?"

She took a deep breath and started to talk rapidly. "Well, Iko started arranging a surprise party for when you returned—don't tell her I told you about that—and Thorne is painting things on his ship again, and—"

"Cinder."

"And Cress got a new haircut to even out her hair and—"

"Cinder."

"it turns out Jacin _can _cook and Winter—"

"_Cinder. _That's not what I meant."

She blinked.

"Sorry. I... I know. I just..."

"Don't know what to say about it?"

She paused a second and nodded. "I..."

Kai took a deep breath and met Cinder's eyes.

"Then can I just ask you yes or no questions? And you answer them honestly?"

Another pause. Another nod.

"Was it you I saw when Levana was... hurting me?"

A nod.

Kai took a sharp breath and continued.

"Were you the one who saved me, then?"

A pause. A nod.

"Did you... kill her?"

Another pause. A longer one. A nod.

"Good." A giddy feeling spread through Kai, and he smiled widely at her. Could it be true? Did he no longer have to marry her? Was... was Cinder queen?

Cinder didn't meet his eyes. She stared at the floor, expression stoney.

"Cinder... what is it?"

"I... I killed her. I really did. My aunt_."_

"But she would've killed you. She would've killed _me."_

"But my _aunt._ My family. I killed her. I... I drove her insane, Kai."

"She deserved it."

"Does... does anyone really deserve that? What if..." A deep breath. Kai could tell that, more than worrying about him, she'd been worrying about this for the past four days.

"What if I'm becoming her, Kai? Would... would you still love me?" Her eyes widened at her own words, and she tried to pull her hand away.

Kai held it tighter.

"Cinder."

Why wasn't she meeting his eyes?

"Cinder, please look at me." He would've moved her head himself, but he didn't want her to know yet about his cyborg arm, and his other hand was still in hers.

Timidly, she raised her head.

"You are not her. You will never be her. You know how I know?"

Wide eyed, she continued to stare at him.

"Because you care about other people. Because you would die rather than let the people you love go. Because you decided to face her, knowing you might face your death, so that I wouldn't die. Because you have sacrificed, and will continue to sacrifice, so much for the people of Earth. Because you are brave, and smart, and beautiful, and I will love you until the day I die and on."

She looked so vulnerable. So much had happened...

She laughed shakily.

"You really think so?"

"Yes. I do."

A deep breath.

Oh stars, he wanted to kiss her.

But he hadn't even told her about his arm, leg, and eye yet.

"Um... Also, there's something I should probably tell you..."

"Is it good?"

"Depends on how you look at it."

Of course, that was the moment Doctor Renick decided to enter the room.

"Sorry to intrude, Your Majesty." A low bow. "But there are some matters to deal with after your operation."

Cinder looked away from the doctor and back at Kai, raising an eyebrow.

Kai nodded, letting go of Cinder's hand.

"What is it?"

Doctor Renick cleared his throat and gestured at Cinder.

"Would it be okay for her to leave the room?"

His stomach turned. If she left, he'd probably break down.

"No. She's staying."

Plus, maybe it would be an easy way for her to learn about his cyborg parts...

"As you wish." Another low bow. "There is the option of skin grafting on your arm and leg. We decided to wait until you were conscious before presenting the idea to you.

"The operation would take place whenever you're ready, and you'd need a week of bed rest. It would be done by the finest doctor in the Easter Commonwealth and completely realistic, so no one would be able tell by looking that you had any cyborg parts."

From the corner of his eye he saw a funny expression on Cinder's face. What was it supposed to mean?

But that wasn't the issue this moment. He had to make a decision.

And he already knew the answer.

"No. I will not be get skin grafting."

Cinder grabbed his hand and tensed. Didn't she know he was doing it for her?

"Are you sure, Your Majesty?"

"I am sure." _I have never been so sure about anything in my life. _

"Of course, Your Majesty. Do you wish for anything else?"

"No. You are dismissed."

He didn't want to dismiss Doctor Renick, knowing how awkward it was going to be between him and Cinder. But they needed to talk.

Oh stars. Oh stars. Ohstarsohstarsohstars...

_Blood pressure increasing. Warning. _

"Cyborg leg and arm?" Cinder asked carefully as if afraid she'd scare him if she talked too loud.

"And eye." He grinned awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood.

Apparently the mood didn't want to be lightened.

"Do you... have what I have? In your eye, I mean."

"I think so."

"And you're not getting skin grafting." It wasn't a question. Not when he'd just made it very clear he wasn't.

"No. I'm not."

A slap was the last thing he expected.

Cinder stood up from her stool and took four steps back.

"Ow. That stung."

"What are you even thinking, Kai?! You're an emperor! What you think your citizens will think of this?"

"They won't like it. But it needs to happen. You see that too, Cinder, even if you don't know it."

"No, I don't!" Her voice cracked. "They won't take you seriously! You will be ridiculed and disliked and talked about behind your back! The imperfect emperor. The disabled emperor. That's what they're going to remember you as."

"You've lived with it almost your entire life! Do you think I'm weak, Cinder? Don't you trust my decisions?"

Her shoulders slumped, her face falling.

"It's because I've lived it with my entire life that I don't want you to do it." Her voice was low and soft, entirely different than it had been a few seconds ago. "I've been called a freak. The baker across from my booth kept her son away from me just because of what I am. I don't want you to go through this, too. I've had enough of it for the both of us. Please, reconsider."

"But that's why I'm doing it. I need to change it. It can't go on like this any longer. There is no problem with being a cyborg, and I need my citizens to understand that. I'm not doing it _only_ for you, Cinder. I'm doing it for every cyborg that has been hurt for something they couldn't control. I'm doing it in the memory of all of those who died in the draft. I can't take the way people look at you, as if being a cyborg is the worst thing you could be."

"I think it's the whole lunar thing that does that nowadays." Cinder sat back down on the stool, and smiled. "But I'm serious Kai. It's honorable you want to do this, and that you feel that way, and I feel touched. Just, it doesn't have to you. I care about you, Kai, and I don't want you to break."

Kai took his cyborg arm from under the sheets and held it up in the air.

"Cinder, I love you, and I would do anything to make your life better. This is the least I can do."

"You are the most considerate, kind human on Earth. But you can't do it." Her argument was crumbling around her, and she knew it. But the strange thing was that she didn't mind as much as she should.

"Only on Earth?" His lips quirked to side, and he raised his cyborg hand to her face, hoping it wasn't cold.

She didn't wince.

"And on Luna. You're the best living being in all the universe." She slowly placed her human hand on his cheek, moving her gloved one to his chest. "And I love you."


End file.
